A Single Tear
by Sgt. Psycho
Summary: Frodo's thoughts right after Gandalf's fall. Please R/R


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A Single Tear

Author's note: Okay, I'm not done reading the books but that's not important. The important thing is that this is BASED ON THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!! meaning, not relating to the book, thank you. Oh, and it might not be exactly what happened, I saw it a while ago and yes there is dialogue missing but I played on the idea of someone lost in thought.

Disclaimer: They're not mine don't sue.

I never knew how pain felt until now. The shire didn't hold anything but happiness for me, even when my parents died. Bilbo adopted me and I was happy. But now I am learning the true harshness of life. Everything is my fault, and everyone knows. It's not like lying about breaking something and lying to the owner, oh no, nothing like that. This is worse because there was no object. It was a person, a friend, who's dead because of me. 

I don't think I was me when I watched him fall, no, I was someone else. I could hear my voice echoing around the chamber as it still echoes in me head. It's a voice that is not familiar to me even though I know it's my own. It's a ghost's voice, yes that's it. The voice of someone, who has now died within me, just like Gandalf.

Boromir set me down outside, he did not dare let me go until we were out of the mines because he knew I would go after Gandalf, even to my death. I think that I disappointed him even more because I was willing to give up the quest and still am. I could run back to the darkness and kill many orcs even though in the end they would over power and kill me and take the ring. I could do that but Aragorn wouldn't let me, nor Boromir, nor Legolas or Merry and Pippin and especially not Sam. They would not let me near the entrance, so that is out of the question.

The question, ah yes, the question; now what? Sam is crying, he sits now on a rock, sobbing. Merry is also crying, cradling a sobbing Pippin's head in his lap, stroking his hair. Gimli is trying his best not to cry, and Legolas is just silent. Boromir is pacing looking out in the distance, distressed. Aragorn just stands there looking at everybody else. The only hint that he is upset is the look in his eyes. But to me the sounds of sorrow are not only what I hear.

Deep in my head, throughout my body, close to my heart, I hear the ring. It is laughing. I hear it cackling with glee at the great accomplishment the Ring bearer has done. He has killed Gandalf the Grey, a wizard who defied it's Master. Now there is one less obstacle for it to overcome. It laughs at the Fellowship's grief and the loss of hope. Now there will be nothing able to stop it.

The Ring is right in one way: I killed Gandalf. I said we should go through the mines, I sent Gandalf to his doom. No one will say anything to me, or show hatred of any kind, but this will remain forever with them. It was me who caused all this pain, all this grief, everything. And they will never admit it. And still the Ring laughs.

The worse thing, though, is that I cannot weep, nor can I feel any sort of strong hatred towards the ring. It is claiming my heart and filling it with a sick sense of glee that Gandalf has fallen. I struggle with it, fighting it and telling myself over and over again that I killed my friend. I start to walk still struggling with my emotions or the Ring's I should say. For it is that which is causing everything.

Where am I going? I do not know. Back to the Shire perhaps or maybe to find some dark cave to die in. I shall toss the Ring into the sea though, wherever I am. There it can lie until the end of time. I walk further on still deciding where I will go. If I go anywhere I know for certain that I will never see any of these people again. Not Sam or Merry or Pippin, they can go on with their lives quietly in the Shire for I cannot bear to look at them after what I have done.

I hear my name being called. It's Aragorn. He of all people should loathe the sight of me. I feel the Ring's power falter for a moment at the sound of his strong voice. With all my strength I turn around. With all my sorrow I push at the Ring's glee. Even with all that strength and power of the ache in my heart, all I can manage against its power is a single tear. It rolls down my cheek, cool on my hot face, then it is gone. With everything I have, my strength, sorrow and love, the Ring still wins the battle of my heart. All I can manage, after watching my close friend fall, after leading him to his doom, is a single tear that is there and gone again. 


End file.
